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Thursday, May 02, 2013

Stay At Home Mom

Lately, I have thinking about my occupation.  I call myself a "Professional Stay at Home Mom".  I chose this job, and I take it very seriously.  I have done many other things (USAF pilot, Sales Account Exec, and High School Teacher) and this has been the hardest for me, but I embrace it.

I was recently sewing for an upcoming craft show, and my baby (age 2) who is always quite delightful was being...mmmm, not so delightful.  After some reflection, I realized that my priority had shifted.  I was now short with her in order to "get things done".  Our days consisted of a grumpy mommy trying to get the house in show order for potential buyers (we are moving), while doing "work" and she was not feeling it.  I am not an advocate of over doting and spoiling my child, don't get me wrong, but more so, she could sense my flusteredness.  (Is that a word??)  I was not "in the moment" and I was not at peace.  I can picture my wrinkle in the middle of my forehead getting deeper and deeper.

Firstly, I realized how hard it is for a parent who works from home.  I am sure they feel constantly torn between their job and the child.  I have to give it to them! (Also, I totally misjudged the whole take-care-of-kids thing when in my 20s...)  For me, since I don't have to work, I decided that I don't want my child to feel like I don't want to be here.  I don't want her feeling my frustration, with being pulled in two directions. I want to embrace my experience and the NOW.

I am a big fan of working side by side, but in a peaceful manner.  She will happily create with her crafts next to me for an hour, while I sew and we listen to music.  I love looking online for fun activities that we can do together (and avoid the TV). And my favorite? I love to bake with her.  And, yes, she can play on her own for a bit, but the balance of it all was off.  I was doing way more of the stuff that I thought needed to be done, and putting such pressure on myself, and forgot to slow down and enjoy the journey.

This isn't a parenting post, really.  This is more a post about me and about embracing the now and living more peacefully with what you are given.  In that regard, a friend of mine really changed my mind about another part of my job.  She said to "Beautify corners" instead of cleaning.  For some reason, just the change in how I see it has made cleaning wayyy more enjoyable and, crazy enough, has made me do more of it!

Take a deep breath, folks.  What isn't working for you?  (I sound like Dr. Phil.)  Nothing is stopping you from changing that, if even just a little :)

1 comment:

Kat said...

Hmm. Parental angst. Been there done that! Now, I haven't had a 2 year old in, oh, 10 years, but I hear you. Recently, I've been struggling with summer coming and frankly, having the kid home All. The. Time. I've been trying to Accept and Surrender. I Accept that he will be home and Surrender to what our days will bring because he will be 13!! by the end of the summer and I know my days with him are numbered and rapidly dwindling. At least, as long as I'm doing my job correctly! xoxo Kat