I wanna go to this school!

Tate and I went to an open house at The Shining Rivers Waldorf School in St. Louis. Wow! We had a great time. I had looked into Waldorf schools in the past on the internet and by asking around, and I learned that you can't form an opinion on a little info--you need to see for yourself.

It was this happy, lavendar smelling, fresh baked muffin kind of place. They have a "Morning Garden" that is part of every kid's day.... The only thing that is conflicting is that they promote NO TV!!! As you all may know, TV is my weakness. As Tate shares 50% of my genes, he too has a passion for the "magical light box". I agree with the philosophy as to why they don't want kids to watch tv, but OMG it is my vice!!!

We'll see...maybe I can wean him off it a bit, but crap, I can't even wean the kid off num-num. I try to do that first!

Mission Statement:"To provide an educational environment for the healthy development of the whole child by strengthening the child's affinity with nature, nourishing the child's sense of awe, wonder and creativity, sharing in the unfolding of each child's innate capabilities - particularly in the arts and sciences, and building a strong foundation for practical life skills."

Happy Earth Day!

Tate's favorite part was the gaggle of kids that were dancing near the stage that featured different performers throughout the day. He danced and danced and danced. His second favorite thing was the solar powered fountain that he went so crazy for, he fell in the bucket of water head first.

Slowly Blogging

I think the reason it is so hard to get back to blogging is because I wrote a lot of stuff specifically for my sister's reaction. Even when we were in an argument, I knew she would be checking it, and somtimes even leave a comment.

In general, I've been doing pretty good considering and everyone "deals" in their own way. Getting on my blog and IMing are the hardest part for me right now.

But, with a huge lump in my throat and a desire to block everything out, I will continue this entry and post some things that make me happy.

Just a quick description of each...

1. Tate holding a babydoll that he jsut discovered in his toy bin. He has been patting its back and cuddling it and it just melts my heart.

2. Tate eating his current favorite food=PANCAKES! He goes into the fridge, and brings us the syrup jug...

3. Ok--our first "real" finger paint project. I let him go hogwild, thinking it says washable on the side of the box. Don't let that stuff dry or you're looking at a good half hour of scrubbin' with the Magic Eraser!

4. My camera obsessed son taking a self portrait. Usually he is not allowed to touch Daddy's camera, but with all that has been going on, my defenses were down. (Just don't tell Paul!) I had to delete about 30 shots off the camera.

Dedicated to my sister, who I know would have had many a comment. My heart breaks in an anticipation of that that will never be filled.

Karen

I'm reposting my mom's blog here about the last few weeks. It says a lot that I can't say right now.


From my mom's blog:

We gathered this week to mourn the loss of our beloved Karen.


Mikey called her BeBe, we all called Karen Jeanne the Jelly Bean, Beaner Butt and my Dad named her Kaye-Kaye like his sister or just Jeanner Beaner.


We will miss so very much about her, from her wild, loud laughter to her gentle touch. Next week will be hard when we wait for her phone calls, just like the other day when Cat realized that we were all together and she was missing. We really needed her to come in a cuss, so we could all yell at her to watch her language. It always brought a good family laugh. You knew when Karen was in the house.


Karen, Karen, Karen.


When she was little, she couldn't sleep without her stuffed dog, Poochie. It became so ratty and nasty that she would throw it at Cathy, just to make Cathy scream. 25 years later, Cat found a brand new Poochie and sent it to her. As she opened the package, she called Cat in anticipation of thanking her for whatever gift was inside. I snapped this picture of her delight. Today, when sorting her things I found the original Poochie. Catie now has them both on her bed to remember her Mom.


There are no words to express the sadness inside. Anyone who has lost a child, a sibling or someone very close to them knows. However, we are so blessed with family and friends who have given of their love this week. As always, they dropped their own lives, traveled great distances and came to comfort and mourn with us.


Hugs, food, flowers, love.
They fed our bodies and our souls.
My aunts mothered me, my cousins held me and cried with me
Friends just kept coming
We felt so loved and comforted and are deeply grateful.
Laura tended to Karen as a loving sister for 4 days, then took care of all of us.
Joey gave a beautiful eulogy and then loving buried his sister.
Cathy held her sister, mothered Catie and took care of us all.
Andy, Mike, Joey, Uncle Jim and Steve carried her with love.
Paul cleaned and carried, worked and worked, just helping and helping
Debbie held me, washed my dishes, clothes and floors
Dave and Maryann created a beautiful photo show that captured Karen. It helped everyone and most especially her children to cope. We got to see that Karen smile over and over.


The whole family has teased me about learning to knit. I love the colors, so I have made ONE single sock of every color yarn....get bored and start a new one. I recently convinced Karen to stop at the yarn shop with me. She told the owner "I am NOT the crafty daughter, she lives in St. Louis.....I am the wild one." He laughed and convinced her to pick out HER sock yarn, so she would like the socks she would definitely get. Of course, she picked out something wild and last weekend, she was delighted to see me finishing the second sock. She asked me to photograph the finished pair, so she could put them on her blog. She said "I can't wait! I am going to make Cathy and Joey crazy. I can't wait to write the article and say....See! HA! HA! Mom loves ME the most, cuz you all have ONE sock and I have the only finished pair!"


As Fr. Ben said, "Karen lived with passion". May she rest in peace.

In Mourning

For the few of you who don't know, my sister died last week very unexpectedly. She is at peace and this I know, but the loss of her still feels like a chunk of me has been taken out.

I am just remaining quiet for now, retreating into my home and reflecting in my solitude. I thank everyone for everything during this time--I really appreciate it.

I may be a bit absent, and please excuse me as I take the time to mourn.
Love-Cat